My Eyes. The Goggles Do Nothing.

Q.: What happens when you stare into the abyss?

A.: Words will soon take shape and turn into this profile.

I know there are a lot of words there, but trust me, it’s worth it. You can click it to make it bigger but fair warning: you will nose-dive directly down a black hole of insanity.

Reading this profile is like plummeting into madness. I’m wondering or not whether to alert Christie’s auction house to the fact that we may have stumbled on to rough drafts of Shakespeare’s mad scenes.

I went through the 5 stages of grief with every word and then scrambled to find a support group and anti-anxiety meds to attempt to make me whole again.

If Lenny from “Of Mice and Men” had a dating profile, this would be it. I’m certain of it.

Have you ever received weird spam mail? This is what this profile reminds me of. Like our Dater couldn’t think of anything to write (probably because his Mother’s voice is rattling in his brain) so he just cut and pasted from one those.

I apologize for so many rambling thoughts. This is the power of this profile. It has completely scrambled my brain and made me question reality. Nurse Rachett, is it medication time yet?

I was so thoroughly shattered after reading this (476 times) that I furiously saucy hat on our Dater’s hat to try and regain some semblance of naivety and innocence, but after my drawing I just crumbled into a fetal position and wept.

For me. For this guy. For Larry.

What I want to know is: who is the fuck is Larry’s brother? Why did he sell his hair? Has someone actually answered this? How many corpses are in this guy’s refrigerator?

Whatever question I have, I just know the answer leads to tragedy.